Until I had to write this blog, I had never been to Ms. Mae’s sober. And even for this blog, I wasn’t entirely sober. No one should ever go to Ms. Mae’s completely sober. Instead, Ms Mae’s is where the night ends, perhaps even long after it should have ended. All of my visits there are tinged with a haze, and my memories are foggy at best. This visit was meant to confirm vague beliefs about what actually happens in this bar. Here is what was confirmed:
1. Don’t go sober. Ms. Mae’s is a dive. It is dark, and it appears dirtier than it probably is. The cement floor looks perfect for hosing off, and the space itself feels like it was abandoned, then found and turned into a bar. But you aren’t coming for the decor. You are coming because of
2. Ms. Mae’s is extraordinarily cheap. A shot of well alcohol will set you back $2, while a nice pour of a double puts you back $3. Call brands such as Jim Beam run $3. Beers are similarly priced: PBR and Highlife are $2, and Abita is $3.
3. Ms. Mae’s is cash only. There is an ATM if your wallet has less than $5, which is all you need unless you are buying a round for 3 people or more.
4. Ms. Mae’s is 24 hours. If you forget this, step outside and read the hand-painted sign that fills the building’s exterior wall.
5. If you need something to do here besides drink (and really, do you need to be doing anything else?) you can amuse yourself playing video golf, air hockey, and of course, video poker.
6. You’re probably not going to begin your drinking here, unless that drinking starts at noon. Or earlier.
But it sure is a great place to end your drinking. If it’s 3 a.m. you are so not done, and you are already Uptown, then Ms. Mae’s has got your name all over it, though you really don’t want your name recorded here, because that means you ended up on their Wall of Shame.