Dating A Thai Girl

There are two types of Thai girls. The first is the one you will never meet at a bar: the traditional Thai girl that comes from a wealthy family, who has a good job and went to college. These are the girls most guys convince themselves they have but, in reality, they have a bar girl – which I’ll talk about in a second. I’ve only dated one traditional Thai girl. I was introduced to her through the translator I hired to take me to Wat Bang Phra, the Tattoo Temple outside of Bangkok, where you get traditional tattoos done by a monk.

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We had gotten along really well and he asked me what I planned for that evening. I had no idea it was Valentine’s Day and had no plans so, when he offered to set up a dinner date for me I accepted. Her name was Ami, currently in graduate school getting her master’s degree, spoke decent English and was quite pleasant to hang out with. We had dinner at a place called Coffee Beans by Dao, which had really good food and incredible cakes. We went for a walk afterward, I tried to hold her hand and she freaked out. At the end of the night I went to kiss her cheek and she freaked out again. So I assumed she just wasn’t into me and called it a night.

I wasn’t too bothered but was really surprised when she called me again the next day wanting to hang out. This time we just had coffee and cake in a hotel bar (a really romantic place) but, again, even a hug was out of the question. I was really confused and assumed she wanted to be friends. I was okay with that; however, for exactly one year afterward she would call, email and basically act like she was my girlfriend even though we’d never kissed. It turns out that traditional Thai girls are like other Asian girls – extremely reserved. As a result of this strict culture a lot of girls rebel. A traditional Thai girl would never be caught casually hooking up with a western guy. Perhaps, if you met her outside of Thailand she would be fair game but within Thailand people judge and there are strict social rules.

So girls rebel and once they do, they might as well just go all the way – become a bar-girl. Prostitution in Thailand is very different from anywhere else in the world as it’s not looked down upon, any more than having a manual labor job – such as construction – for men. A majority of bar girls are from small villages in the north east of Thailand known as Isan, which you’ll often see misspelled as Isaan, Isarn, Issan, Essan or Esarn. Isan is the poorest part of Thailand, with a culture influenced by their neighbors in Laos and Cambodia. The only real jobs in Isan are farming and these are often hit by drought. So, often, the boys become Muay Thai fighters and the girls go off to work in bars. Money in exchange for love or sex is seen very differently in Thailand than in most countries. Even if a Thai man falls in love with a Thai girl and wanted to get married he is expected to pay her family a 40,000 – 300,000 dowry ($1,335 – $10,000US).

One reason why I never date Thai girls is because even if she’s not a prostitute it often still feels like she is. The majority of guys I’ve met that are dating Thai girls think their girl is different, that she’s not a bar girl and, in fact, she’s one of the good girls. I never say anything because that would just be plain rude but 98% of the ones I’ve met either used to be, or still are, a bar girl. I’ve met quite a few guys – owners of gyms, dive shops, and other ‘expats’ (an expatriate is a person temporarily or permanently residing in a country and culture other than that of the person’s upbringing) – married to Thai women that clearly used to be a bar girl.

I’m sure none of these guys would admit, or even like to think about, what their wife was doing before they got together (and it’s damn sure rude to ask) so it just never gets talked about. Even guys just dating a Thai girl normally end up giving money to send home to her family or something along those lines. They convince themselves that it’s just part of the culture and it’s perfectly normal – which it is. But, personally, I don’t like that part of the culture and, to me, giving your Thai girlfriend money every month feels exactly the same as paying a prostitute. However, a lot of guys in America do the same thing with their girlfriends. We just call them ‘sugar daddies’, older guys that support their younger, hot girlfriend by paying her rent and credit card bill. To me, that’s the same thing as prostitution as well, so it’s not just a Thai thing.

Source: Travelsmaps.com

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